EU agrees to dump $50 million in Ukrainian river

Kiev, Ukraine. While everyone on earth seems to know the Ukrainian government is the most corrupt and least trustworthy on earth, leave it to the Europeans to boldly go where no moron has before, in literally dumping $50 million dollars in a Ukrainian river.

The European Bank for Reconstruction and Development (EBRD) and European Investment Bank (EIB) intends to invest over $50 million dollars in the development of the Dnieper river as a transport option according to the Petro Poroshenko Administration.

“The development of agricultural sector poses new challenges for Ukrainian transport and logistics network. Ukraine has a unique resource, the use of which can enable the country to become a strategic part of the European economy, and it is the Dnieper,” said Dutch Ambassador Kees Klompenhouwer.

Deputy Prime Minister for European Integration Ivanna Klympush-Tsintsadze noted that development of the Dnieper River in future will relieve highways and railways. In addition, the development of internal water transport will contribute to the ecologization of transport by reducing vehicles’ harmful emissions.

Of course it does little to mitigate the sheer stupidity of Ukrainians themselves as it was reported earlier 300 tons of fuel oil were spilled to Dnieper in Kamianske. This happened due to the flooding of a barge with tap water from a hose inserted by mistake by a drunken worker.

When contacted by News Front for comment, the office of Kees Klompenhouer was unaware of the number of “environmental incidents” already involving the river. Kees’s office said it was unaware Ukraine was the most corrupt country on earth, according to Ernst & Young USA.